Book Wishlist – Dating for Nice Girls

I want a dating book for nice girls.

I mean, there are plenty of dating books for women who tease, flirt and/or sleep around. I want something for someone who thinks that they don’t have to put their sexuality out there in order to get a guy. A book that talks about ethics in dating and not just ‘rules’ and ‘guidelines’ and ‘tricks’.

And at the same time, I don’t really want some sort of completely puritan book either. I don’t need to hear arguments for arranged marriages at 14 or how I should marry the first guy I kiss. I don’t want to be sequestered until my wedding day. I want actual dating.

So I want a dating book for nice girls. A book that argues for abstinenceĀ  but doesn’t hit the reader over the head with it. A book that recommends ways to approach guys without messing with their hearts or leading them on. A book that knows that dating is about marriage, but also acknowledges that it can be about having fun as well.

The closest books I’ve seen are books like “Wait for Me” by Rebecca St James (which I didn’t enjoy that much) and “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris (which I really liked. Its sequel was okay as well). They’re very Christian, and I really love that. But sometimes I have a problem with their authors.

How much can I really trust dating/not dating advice from someone who’s holding themselves for someone special? But then again, how can you not? I want to take the high road to dating; the one that leaves both me and my boyfriend with nothing but great things to say about our relationship even after we’ve broken up. I don’t want dating to have to be something to toss around casually. But I also don’t want it to be something that is never an option or that comes with so many restrictions that I can’t really enjoy.

And maybe I’m making differentiations that don’t really exist. Maybe it really is all or nothing; either I have amoral and exciting relationships or I get the righteous and hands-off ‘hold out for a sign’ waiting.

Is it possible to walk the tightrope between those two? Or is it inevitable that I’ll fall to one side?

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